Just Relax II

When you're "Trying To Conceive", or TTC as those in the in crowd call it, people will tell you all sorts of stories about a couple who went to the same church as their cousin's brother's mother's orthodontist who was TTC too. These people decided to take a tropical vacation somewhere and came back totally knocked up.

Or they will tell you how their babysitter's uncle's mechanic's sister started meditating for an hour and 45 minutes everyday and got pregnant the next month. Or worse they will quote THEY. "Well THEY say if you just relax you will get pregnant."

Because the person saying this is usually a friend or family member I am generally able to restrain myself from punching them in the face. But the impulse is there. If you have said these well meaning words to a TTC couple I can assure you your butt has been mentally kicked by them.

You see there are several very good reasons why saying these things will just piss me off.

1. It's anecdotal if not completely made up. I sometimes think there is actually only one couple that conceived on a vacation and everybody is referring to them through their own 6 degrees of separation. I've never met these people. How do I even know they were infertile in the first place? And if they did get pregnant, well then goody for them.
2. It's completely useless to me. I don't have time for a vacation. That's it. I work too much to meditate. Stress is an integral part of my life. It's not going anywhere. By suggesting this you've doomed me to failure. The very act of "trying to relax" becomes a stressor.
3. I actually tried it already.
4. It's not scientifically supported. There are actually studies suggesting that vacation sex, meditation and all that good stuff do absolutely nothing to improve your chances of getting pregnant.
5. I know you really don't want to talk about it anymore. When people can't do anything to help you they generally want to change the subject. Suggesting we go on vacation is how you make a last ditch effort to help and then segue into another subject.

So you see. I know you mean well. I really do appreciate it. But I've heard it before. And it doesn't help. Of course I can't tell you that because then I will only appear to be a raving stressed out hormonal woman with a biological clock the size of Big Ben. Which of course only proves your point. I really do need to relax.

Just don't tell me to relax, I might implode... or punch you in the face.